Forgiveness Rotting

I keep praying for a good heart
One like yours
Because –
I love you, you see
And I’m trying
I’m trying to become a better, stronger person
For you
Allowing the strife and discord to come into my heart’s home and take a seat, was fault of my own

I don’t know if I was praying too hard or not enough
He alone knows my prayers and my tears which roll down and leave traces of their burn on my cheek
Walking into the world’s fog with a smile keeps me from falling as my soul is slowly melting inside of me

I brace the walls of nature
They are all true and beautiful – A real and pulchritudinous soul I can trust
I’m all tangled up by the shadows of a touch I long for
I wait – I patiently wait, yet you choose to sit there stagnant
Sometimes a gentle embrace, on my fortunate days

I don’t want to do this
I know it is wrong
And I cannot ignore the guilt
It follows me everywhere
I cover it up with a carpet of lies
And, still I pray.

By Elizabeth Mendiola
Copyright 2013

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