Unsure

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Unsure, unsure
Oh heavy heart stop feeling unsure!
You’re going to break the back of your very heart from all that scattered wondering
You are so confused
And allowing yourself to feel so
Stand up, now
Come on
You can do this
Return to the matter which exists
You
The, now
We’ve all heard this saying over and again, “Live in the Now”
Yet do not know how to live in this thing called, “Now”
Therefore, what does one do?
Hmmmm
Let me think a moment
How about trying to live when you breathe
Try it
Then tell me how it works out for you, dear
Now, inhale…..

Written by Elizabeth Mendiola
©2014

Poem – Untitled

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Forgiveness is a beautiful thing
Lightweight and blessed
One suddenly feels for the first time what it means to be caressed
Counting the days and feeling angry
A bitterness which tortures you daily
Don’t let it
Breathe in
And then out
No more wars
Let someone in
And love who you are again
Pick up your pen
Write that note
The person you are writing to
Greatly deserves it
They have waited very long
Do it before it is too late

Written by Elizabeth Mendiola
©2014

Madrecita

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Beautiful
Beautiful as you
Walking and never running
Turning but never regretting
Thoughtful
Kind
Sacrificing all you know
Because
All you know is all you have
I never knew what you gave up
Just for me
And I was only three
I’m sorry that I couldn’t see
What you wanted was for me to be
Happy
Safe
Smart
Secure
Never wanting
Only giving
I learned it all from you
From the kitchen
To having a broken heart
But never
Ever
Falling apart
You are the strongest woman I know
Broken skin
You’ll never find it
Nope
Not on you
Your coco-buttered skin
A blessing for me
I lavish myself times three
You are all I ever want to be
A heart sliced open
Just for me

By Elizabeth Mendiola
©2014

Burnt Tortilla

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Rolled out

Fresh and white

Kneaded until my mother’s delight

Play dough

To a kid, it was out-of-sight!

 

Under the comal, I see blue flames doing their dance

I knew what was coming

And I could not wait

All I needed was my mother to be just a little late

For my taste buds have a date

Therefore, I shall sit here and wait

 

Butter is on the table

Oh, I can see it now! 

A lovely dripping over its warm, round edge

Perhaps, I will add some cinnamon

Or maybe some honey

Yes! I will add some honey – Mmmmmm

 

I hear the rolling pin beating a song of promise

A message creating a family of hungry smiles

Plop-plop-plop

One at a time they go

They look like small mountains rising from the snow

 

Yes!

I finally see her walking away

“The next one is mine” is all I’ll say

I picture the dark bubbles beginning to form 

A burnt-scented smell, to some, is quite forlorn

 

I watch as she begins to grapple 

“Aye! Me quema la tortilla!”

A familiar shout

One that is appeasing to my ear

Before she goes to toss it away

I say, “No mamá, esos son mis favoritos!”

She only looks at me – and smiles, then turns away

Plop-plop-plop!

 

Written by Elizabeth Mendiola

© April 2014


Penguin

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Lasting and still
Ready for new moments
Elated
Calm
With an inflamed heart
I reach out to you
Come, and tell me your name again
Do you remember sitting here with me
The bench
Near the theater
Loafers and argyle socks
The ones with blue and gray
The colors of your heart
I did all I could to reach you, I thought
But nothing appeared to work
A cold response greeted me by the window each and every time

You knocked on my door
To deliver a goodbye
But I was not home
A message in a bag is where I found you
A tied up bag with a few memories
All returned to a new glory

The five year mark has come and gone
And we are still, here
With nowhere to go
I’ll wait a while longer
I have a new penguin for you
I know they are your favorite

By Elizabeth Mendiola
©2014

Everyday

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Everyday
I remember you
Everyday
I can see right through
Everyday
I remember that I need to stop and smell the roses once in a while
Everyday
I forget to do just that
Everyday
I fall in love
Everyday
I fall out of love
Everyday
I listen to the wind blow
Everyday
I cross your mind
Everyday
You are kicked out of mine
Everyday
I live
Everyday
I give
Everyday
We fade away
Everyday
The colors all come back to me
Everyday
I forget to look at the moon
Everyday
The day talks back to me
Everyday
I begin all over again
Everyday
Is a new and better day

By Elizabeth Mendiola
©2014

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Crossing

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Over curbs and deserted streets
I still watch for cars
I thought I heard one down the way
But it was just a boy
Rambling some funky beat with his bass drum
I see a girl
She’s dressed in pink
I see her watching me
Her eyes are sad
She seems eager
The way I used to be
Her hair is kinky and natural
A bare beauty of what is real and unique
She still watches me
After crossing
I turn back to look
And I see her
I feel a deep sadness for the girl
I want to know her name
I want to tell her it will be okay and not to be afraid
Because change is coming
Crossing over is never easy
But it’s possible all the same
Once you have reached the other side
Your life will still be there
And you can then, and finally, claim your fame
Hold onto your light
You deserve all that is bright
And, pink, – is definitely your color

By Elizabeth Mendiola
©2014

Healing

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No longer waiting
I unlocked my very own shackles
I allowed you too much time
To hover over me
Over my love
My newness is a fresh spring
The water rinses over my face so beautifully
So freely
I can breathe like never before
No more guilt
No more nights of crying
No more feeling I did something wrong to you
You did wrong to you
I’m letting go of the sharp lining which never did belong to me
I’m free
Free
Free
Free
Light
Weightless
Floating to the top
Coming back to me
I’m finally coming back to me

By Elizabeth Mendiola
Copyright 2014

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